It's not easy being a mother to a teenage boy. It's definitely not easy being the mother to an African-American/Black/Negro (you pick what terminology you wish to use) living in the Urban city. Two years ago, I made the choice to take my son from the inner city of Baltimore, MD to (what I thought at the time) a quieter area of Wilmington,DE. Although, you can't run from crime and trouble, I believe you can put yourself in a better area and surround yourself with people who want and desire more.
This morning, I made the decision to bring my son with me to work. No, it's not the Annual "Bring your Child to work day". My son is out of school for the day,no suspension....which is most often the case. Watching him leave from my vehicle to go to his Step-Dad's vehicle (he lives in a 2 parent home,StepDad or NOT!),My heart was aching. I know that it's easier for my heart to ache now than break later.
I used to tell my oldest son, that I wish I could put him in my pocket,to keep him safe. Now, I find myself longing for the same thing for my youngest son. Every second, that he's not in my sight or hearing distance,my heart is pumping. I,even worry about him,when I know he's in school. yet, I have tried to allow him to make his own decisions and pick his own friends. I have to! Reality is: I can NOT keep him in my pocket.
I've often wondered what it is like to be the mother of a son that doesn't have emotional disabilities. My youngest son is ADD and ODD which keeps me SAD! This means that it hinders his ability to learn in school. Another disaster,not of his making. I've finally got him into a school that serves "special needs". However, it is not academically on his level and the behaviors of the other children helps his "attitude" that is NOT a disability. Whew! So after calling and calling private schools to try and find one that will accept him,with his disabilities although I don't know how we (his StepDad & myself )will be able to afford it, I still am at a lost because there are none in DE, I am,yet AGAIN, arming myself to writing, calling and emailing school district and councilman for direction.
This school year, my son was put on Focalin. Judge me NOT until you have driven the miles back & forth in my car! It has definitely been a help to him. Academically, he's been able to come up in his test scores and grades. The medicine helps his disability but can not help what may be in his heart. I know that although he loves and appreciatess his stepdad,he misses his father. His father made the choice to move across the country to Florida with his girlfriend and then after the relationship failed after six years,he picked up and moved to Milwaukee, WI. It may not be the distance that is affecting my son but the mere fact that he can go months without a phone call from his biologocal father. People realize that ANYONE can be a father but it's a man that can be a DAD! If you ask my son how he feels,he will respond in this hard shell that he has built, that it doesn't bother him.
What can I do but keep praying and being the supportive,stricter Mom, that I am forcing myself to be. Call the police,call child welfare because I'm going to be strict on this 15 year old that I gave birth to! My hats off to the Moms that have raised society -worthy sons with emotional disabilities!!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tiger Woods
I'm watching "The Insider" and they are talking about the topic of the month. Tiger Woods and his infidelity. While, infidelity isn't anything new to athletes,politics and money, they are acting as if it is the end of the world. I, too, am amazed at how many...count up to 11....women he has been alledged to have. I believe that the longer he stays quiet, the worst it shall become. I do respect that he is taking this time to try and reconnect with his wife. Love, commitment and relationships aren't always about sex. Sometimes, it's easier to hurt a person by becoming emotionally detached.
I've listened to news report, after news report, voice their opinion on the situation and now shall I. It's NOT rocket science so you don't have to ruminate over the alledged mistresses. They ALL appear to be money hungry. They knew that he didn't have any true emotional feelings for them. Some claimed that he didn't state ever that he loved them. He profusely talked and texted his need for sex. What were their ulterior motives? They kept voicemails and texts, not to confront his wife but to gain fifteen minutes of fame and a few thousand dollars. With all their porno looks and those who appeared to act dumb, they definitely did a lot of cogitating. A few months ago David Letterman, confessed to his audience about his affair with his subordinate. He only confessed after someone tried to extort money from him. He apologized night after night about his affair. Now, night after night, he's making fun of Tiger's indiscretions. David said "He would do everything in his power to make it up to his wife". The media suggested that he stop talking about it. This suggestion was to help his marriage and keep his viewers and livelihood. Perhaps, David hasn't surmized the affect that his jokes are having on Elin, Tiger's wife or on Tiger's livelihood. As always for every action there is a reaction and for every cause there is an effect. So maybe, this just may be Tiger's lessons for his narcissistic behavior. Personally, I always thought Tiger appeared to be arrogant. He denounces his Black heritage. Well, maybe denounce is a bit strong. You would first have to claim something in order to be able to denounce it,right? Then I'm NOT surprised that none of the 11 alledged mistresses are Black but am surprised that not 1 is Asian.
I do believe that there are other things that happened this week, which are more newsworthy. Such as Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw and his wife were in an accident in the Bronx and a lady was killed. This story is what should be getting more press coverage. What caused the accident? Who was the lady? What about the lady's family? Then there is Angelina Jolie. She's calling for action in Sudan and wanted to know what President Obama plans to do about the chidren of Darfar. Forgive me, if I'm wrong but he just decided to send more troops to Afghanistan,he's trying to revise the money that was put out in the stimulas plan to push for more jobs and help with small businesses. Can he tackle home then move on to help others? I ws raised that if your home isn't intact then it's hard to help your neighbors. But WAIT!!! This is coming from someone who tongue-kissed her brother,publicly denounced her father,wore the blood of her husband around her neck, had an affair,whether physical or emotional with another woman's husband and then overnight became holier than thou. Another newsworthy topic are the Asian group of high school students that were racially attacked in their SCHOOL, in South Philly.
See, there ARE topics than can be talked about other than Tiger.
I've listened to news report, after news report, voice their opinion on the situation and now shall I. It's NOT rocket science so you don't have to ruminate over the alledged mistresses. They ALL appear to be money hungry. They knew that he didn't have any true emotional feelings for them. Some claimed that he didn't state ever that he loved them. He profusely talked and texted his need for sex. What were their ulterior motives? They kept voicemails and texts, not to confront his wife but to gain fifteen minutes of fame and a few thousand dollars. With all their porno looks and those who appeared to act dumb, they definitely did a lot of cogitating. A few months ago David Letterman, confessed to his audience about his affair with his subordinate. He only confessed after someone tried to extort money from him. He apologized night after night about his affair. Now, night after night, he's making fun of Tiger's indiscretions. David said "He would do everything in his power to make it up to his wife". The media suggested that he stop talking about it. This suggestion was to help his marriage and keep his viewers and livelihood. Perhaps, David hasn't surmized the affect that his jokes are having on Elin, Tiger's wife or on Tiger's livelihood. As always for every action there is a reaction and for every cause there is an effect. So maybe, this just may be Tiger's lessons for his narcissistic behavior. Personally, I always thought Tiger appeared to be arrogant. He denounces his Black heritage. Well, maybe denounce is a bit strong. You would first have to claim something in order to be able to denounce it,right? Then I'm NOT surprised that none of the 11 alledged mistresses are Black but am surprised that not 1 is Asian.
I do believe that there are other things that happened this week, which are more newsworthy. Such as Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw and his wife were in an accident in the Bronx and a lady was killed. This story is what should be getting more press coverage. What caused the accident? Who was the lady? What about the lady's family? Then there is Angelina Jolie. She's calling for action in Sudan and wanted to know what President Obama plans to do about the chidren of Darfar. Forgive me, if I'm wrong but he just decided to send more troops to Afghanistan,he's trying to revise the money that was put out in the stimulas plan to push for more jobs and help with small businesses. Can he tackle home then move on to help others? I ws raised that if your home isn't intact then it's hard to help your neighbors. But WAIT!!! This is coming from someone who tongue-kissed her brother,publicly denounced her father,wore the blood of her husband around her neck, had an affair,whether physical or emotional with another woman's husband and then overnight became holier than thou. Another newsworthy topic are the Asian group of high school students that were racially attacked in their SCHOOL, in South Philly.
See, there ARE topics than can be talked about other than Tiger.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Friendships can be harder to maintain that Love Relationships
In life, we have so many choices. Often the choices that we make in life can either be uplifting or disluminating. I've never been the type of person who likes to denigrate anyone. It's for this very reason, that I've realized that I was in a "Toxic Friendship", (PositivelyStar.blogspot.com). One that was serving no purpose but to weigh me down.
We must all take a moment to see what relationship that we are in, that is abusive, mentally,emotionally and/or physically. This will definitely be discussed at a later day, in a lengthier post,as Domestic Violence, holds a deep,special place in my heart. Upon a nasty email (from this so- called friend) and much soul searching within myself, I ended it after 22 years.
I, chose, to acknowledge and embrace those who have always been elevating. I believe that it doesn't matter how long you know a person, when two people share common interests, God will bond you and what God has put together, let no man part. This is true for friendships as with partnerships,personal and professional. How can a person pursue either without friendship,first? So this can also be true for relationships that are friendships.
I received a beautiful Word of the Day from my Aunt Dee Dee, that I want to share with you, prior to me sharing my letter to my friends. I will not push nor deny my Spirituality to you however, when I find a scripture that is smoothing,inspirational and relevant, I will post it. Thank you, Aunt Dee Dee.
Tuesday, October 13
Who Is in Your Corner?
Today’s Scripture Reading: Psalm 1; Proverbs 12:26
Key Verse: Proverbs 12:26
The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.
What kind of people do you need in your corner in the battle of faith? You need to associate with people who build up your faith and increase your confidence and dependence on God. I am not talking about “nice guys” or “nice girls.” I am talking about the kind of people who will make a conscious effort to encourage you. If your friends and associates do not make a conscious effort to build you up, then they will end up wearing you down.
Picture yourself as a prizefighter about to enter the ring and fight with the devil to get the Word of God out. When you go back to your corner, who is waiting with towel in hand, ready to give you water?
As the battle for the Word wears on, you will need associates in your corner who will rub your shoulders and boost you to victory. “You are the man God chose! Keep going—you can do it. You prepared for this day, and no man or devil can stop you from fulfilling God’s will. Come on, get up again and go get him. Make him wish he had never tried to hinder this work of God. You were born for such a day as this, so do not hold back. Go for the knockout!”
Everyone needs the support and counsel of trusted friends and associates. It is your God-given protection from the enemy and even from yourself!
Good friends will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear. Nathan was one of David’s truest friends, and he told David the truth even though David was a king and a feared warrior. Do you have a Nathan, a Paul, a Barnabas, or a John in your corner? Ask God for godly friends and counselors and He will answer your prayer. It is in perfect alignment with His will for your life.
My Letter:
Sometimes, in Life you have to stop and evaluate the Friendships that you have built. Some friendships are the kind that you can compare to a good blanket, always there to keep you warm and covered. Never asking for much but always there. Then there are some friendships that are like an old pair of shoes, you know that you should throw them away but can't because they have been with you for a while. However, they have soles that need to be replaced, too tight and you can't polish them because they don't make that same color of shoe polish. You move them with you, throw them in the back of your closet, put them in the attic and then have to move them to the basement.
When you go to finally start throwing away things that are no longer of value to you: you sit and really assess the value of them. When you get to the part where the shoes have always hurt your feet and that by keeping them, it's only harmful to you (maybe possibly even your health) You take that DEEP SIGH. You walk the shoes over to the garbage can,they can't even be recycled,toss them and close the lid.
I've had to just recently do this with what I mistook for a "Friendship" after more than 22 years. Friendship isn't always easy and shouldn't be about constantly taking,superiority or jealously. It should be a bond out of Mutual Respect (thxs, Nikki), Disagreements to break up and make up (thxs,Kisha) , Ride or Die (Thxs,Puddin*both of you*) and just true LOVE( thxs, Nikki, Kisha, Italia,Aungie,Tameka,Bunny,Tonya).
We ALL, have a lot of friends and acquaintances in our lives. We have family members,who are friends (Sunshine,Aisha,Alea,Tonya,Gena,Keshia,Kelly) and friends who are family members(My Sistahs). It's the people who are receiving this email, that I say to GOD/ALLAH every morning "Thank You".
SimplyCeruti- The Best things in Life are Simple!
"Learning is either a continuing thing or it is nothing."-Frank Tyger
So you must evaluate what is more important to you, the toxic friendship or your peace of mind!
We must all take a moment to see what relationship that we are in, that is abusive, mentally,emotionally and/or physically. This will definitely be discussed at a later day, in a lengthier post,as Domestic Violence, holds a deep,special place in my heart. Upon a nasty email (from this so- called friend) and much soul searching within myself, I ended it after 22 years.
I, chose, to acknowledge and embrace those who have always been elevating. I believe that it doesn't matter how long you know a person, when two people share common interests, God will bond you and what God has put together, let no man part. This is true for friendships as with partnerships,personal and professional. How can a person pursue either without friendship,first? So this can also be true for relationships that are friendships.
I received a beautiful Word of the Day from my Aunt Dee Dee, that I want to share with you, prior to me sharing my letter to my friends. I will not push nor deny my Spirituality to you however, when I find a scripture that is smoothing,inspirational and relevant, I will post it. Thank you, Aunt Dee Dee.
Tuesday, October 13
Who Is in Your Corner?
Today’s Scripture Reading: Psalm 1; Proverbs 12:26
Key Verse: Proverbs 12:26
The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.
What kind of people do you need in your corner in the battle of faith? You need to associate with people who build up your faith and increase your confidence and dependence on God. I am not talking about “nice guys” or “nice girls.” I am talking about the kind of people who will make a conscious effort to encourage you. If your friends and associates do not make a conscious effort to build you up, then they will end up wearing you down.
Picture yourself as a prizefighter about to enter the ring and fight with the devil to get the Word of God out. When you go back to your corner, who is waiting with towel in hand, ready to give you water?
As the battle for the Word wears on, you will need associates in your corner who will rub your shoulders and boost you to victory. “You are the man God chose! Keep going—you can do it. You prepared for this day, and no man or devil can stop you from fulfilling God’s will. Come on, get up again and go get him. Make him wish he had never tried to hinder this work of God. You were born for such a day as this, so do not hold back. Go for the knockout!”
Everyone needs the support and counsel of trusted friends and associates. It is your God-given protection from the enemy and even from yourself!
Good friends will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear. Nathan was one of David’s truest friends, and he told David the truth even though David was a king and a feared warrior. Do you have a Nathan, a Paul, a Barnabas, or a John in your corner? Ask God for godly friends and counselors and He will answer your prayer. It is in perfect alignment with His will for your life.
My Letter:
Sometimes, in Life you have to stop and evaluate the Friendships that you have built. Some friendships are the kind that you can compare to a good blanket, always there to keep you warm and covered. Never asking for much but always there. Then there are some friendships that are like an old pair of shoes, you know that you should throw them away but can't because they have been with you for a while. However, they have soles that need to be replaced, too tight and you can't polish them because they don't make that same color of shoe polish. You move them with you, throw them in the back of your closet, put them in the attic and then have to move them to the basement.
When you go to finally start throwing away things that are no longer of value to you: you sit and really assess the value of them. When you get to the part where the shoes have always hurt your feet and that by keeping them, it's only harmful to you (maybe possibly even your health) You take that DEEP SIGH. You walk the shoes over to the garbage can,they can't even be recycled,toss them and close the lid.
I've had to just recently do this with what I mistook for a "Friendship" after more than 22 years. Friendship isn't always easy and shouldn't be about constantly taking,superiority or jealously. It should be a bond out of Mutual Respect (thxs, Nikki), Disagreements to break up and make up (thxs,Kisha) , Ride or Die (Thxs,Puddin*both of you*) and just true LOVE( thxs, Nikki, Kisha, Italia,Aungie,Tameka,Bunny,Tonya).
We ALL, have a lot of friends and acquaintances in our lives. We have family members,who are friends (Sunshine,Aisha,Alea,Tonya,Gena,Keshia,Kelly) and friends who are family members(My Sistahs). It's the people who are receiving this email, that I say to GOD/ALLAH every morning "Thank You".
SimplyCeruti- The Best things in Life are Simple!
"Learning is either a continuing thing or it is nothing."-Frank Tyger
So you must evaluate what is more important to you, the toxic friendship or your peace of mind!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Customer Service
Well, if you don't know, let me tell you, I worked in retail for over 15 years. I worked at a major Department store and at a major Furniture store . One of the first things you learn for REALLY good customer service is respect. My oldest child is 20 yrs old and I have been shopping at The Children's Place for 23 years. Today, I had one of THE WORST EXPERIENCE at Christiana Mall in Newark, DE.
I was browsing in The Children's Place. As I was looking at the sales rack and measuring my oldest grandson to the shirts, one of the store associates, pulled a ladder over to one of the ceiling lights and then she started dusting. Well, dust started flying everywhere. I said "Excuse me, but could you wait until we walk away". She gave me a look, rolled her eyes and then started talking to another associate. Her conversation wouldn't have been so bad, had she NOT started talking about the fact that at 5:45PM, she was going to tell customers that they would be closing in 10 minutes. She went on to say that she's told customers in the past,that they opened at 11:00am. I should have gotten her name but I didn't and I will STILL call to The Children's Place Corporate Office in the morning.
My daughter in law, was ready to go, at this point, I was too. The fact that there are so many people who would be happy to be in her position, employed, should give her an extra incentive to be respectful to customers. We discussed it as we were walking out of the store.
Ok, OK! Anyone that knows me knows I'm a COACH fanatic!! I have been carrying Coach since Middle School, Station,Clutches and Bookbags (briefcase). So when I get to a mall that has a COACH store, I can't go pass. We went into the store, of course. There were some new bags, nothing as elaborate as the catalog,though. I wasn't thrilled but I CAN NOT leave Coach without buying a bag or two! LOL. So I bought my Ali Hobo and left. When I got into another store, my bag set off the alarm. I went back into Coach. When I approached, the young man , that waited on me, told me he had forgotten to give me my receipt. I was OK with that. It's NOT like I was going to return it. However, he tried to finish up with his customer. The store manager, interrupted him a couple of times and then when he was able to help me, he started looking for my receipt. She informed him that he could write me a hand receipt. Then as he was looking for the transaction,in the register, she informed him that he could start straightening up and she would finish. As she proceeded to write out my receipt there were 4 other customers in the store. She advised them that "If they weren't in line, they wouldn't be able to be helped,as they were closing at 6:00PM." Unlike, in the Children's place it was 5:45pm. Well, the couple with 2 children and the single lady left. The young lady that was asking about The Large Madison Bag in Gray decided to buy the Black Madison bag because they "didn't have time" to call around about the Gray Madison bag.
The manager finished my transaction and I was MORE than HAPPY to leave. As it was, I called to Coach's Customer service while I was standing at the counter.
I don't think it's ACCEPTABLE for anyone to be turned away prior to the doors being closed, music off and the actual closing time. What do you think?
I was browsing in The Children's Place. As I was looking at the sales rack and measuring my oldest grandson to the shirts, one of the store associates, pulled a ladder over to one of the ceiling lights and then she started dusting. Well, dust started flying everywhere. I said "Excuse me, but could you wait until we walk away". She gave me a look, rolled her eyes and then started talking to another associate. Her conversation wouldn't have been so bad, had she NOT started talking about the fact that at 5:45PM, she was going to tell customers that they would be closing in 10 minutes. She went on to say that she's told customers in the past,that they opened at 11:00am. I should have gotten her name but I didn't and I will STILL call to The Children's Place Corporate Office in the morning.
My daughter in law, was ready to go, at this point, I was too. The fact that there are so many people who would be happy to be in her position, employed, should give her an extra incentive to be respectful to customers. We discussed it as we were walking out of the store.
Ok, OK! Anyone that knows me knows I'm a COACH fanatic!! I have been carrying Coach since Middle School, Station,Clutches and Bookbags (briefcase). So when I get to a mall that has a COACH store, I can't go pass. We went into the store, of course. There were some new bags, nothing as elaborate as the catalog,though. I wasn't thrilled but I CAN NOT leave Coach without buying a bag or two! LOL. So I bought my Ali Hobo and left. When I got into another store, my bag set off the alarm. I went back into Coach. When I approached, the young man , that waited on me, told me he had forgotten to give me my receipt. I was OK with that. It's NOT like I was going to return it. However, he tried to finish up with his customer. The store manager, interrupted him a couple of times and then when he was able to help me, he started looking for my receipt. She informed him that he could write me a hand receipt. Then as he was looking for the transaction,in the register, she informed him that he could start straightening up and she would finish. As she proceeded to write out my receipt there were 4 other customers in the store. She advised them that "If they weren't in line, they wouldn't be able to be helped,as they were closing at 6:00PM." Unlike, in the Children's place it was 5:45pm. Well, the couple with 2 children and the single lady left. The young lady that was asking about The Large Madison Bag in Gray decided to buy the Black Madison bag because they "didn't have time" to call around about the Gray Madison bag.
The manager finished my transaction and I was MORE than HAPPY to leave. As it was, I called to Coach's Customer service while I was standing at the counter.
I don't think it's ACCEPTABLE for anyone to be turned away prior to the doors being closed, music off and the actual closing time. What do you think?
Monday, September 14, 2009
Hello!
Hello All~
I'm about to start blogging about what I love in life. That would be fashion, travel, beauty, decor and SIMPLY LIFE, itself! I'm still in the "infant" stages of getting my Blog up and running. When I start this blog, I want to be consistent and honest. I, not only want to bring to you, my readers what interests me but what interests you.
I'm thinking...Can I be the ONLY one, who likes to look good everyday, go to wine-tastings, drive a hour and half to get my eyebrows threaded and hair done? The research that I have been doing this evening seems to suggest otherwise! Yup! Yup!! I am NOT the only one who likes the finer things in life. Remember though, the finer things in life does not necessarily have to be the costlier things. With the information that I'm finding, I'm real EXCITED about my blog.
I've always been a person who believed in sharing the knowledge and spreading the wealth. Hopefully, what I learn and share with you, will do just that. I will travel to different states, interview and patronize some of my fellow bloggers and entrepreneurs.
Remember that in ALL you do: B. Simply Certon!!
I'm about to start blogging about what I love in life. That would be fashion, travel, beauty, decor and SIMPLY LIFE, itself! I'm still in the "infant" stages of getting my Blog up and running. When I start this blog, I want to be consistent and honest. I, not only want to bring to you, my readers what interests me but what interests you.
I'm thinking...Can I be the ONLY one, who likes to look good everyday, go to wine-tastings, drive a hour and half to get my eyebrows threaded and hair done? The research that I have been doing this evening seems to suggest otherwise! Yup! Yup!! I am NOT the only one who likes the finer things in life. Remember though, the finer things in life does not necessarily have to be the costlier things. With the information that I'm finding, I'm real EXCITED about my blog.
I've always been a person who believed in sharing the knowledge and spreading the wealth. Hopefully, what I learn and share with you, will do just that. I will travel to different states, interview and patronize some of my fellow bloggers and entrepreneurs.
Remember that in ALL you do: B. Simply Certon!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
